it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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