Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
