I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
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Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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