Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
