i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just invented taco cereal.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
