I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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