Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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