i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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