Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Randomize
