A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
