he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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