Princesses don't give blow jobs
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
