Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
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Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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