If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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