So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
