: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
