bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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