As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have tasted many bathrooms
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
