Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
sarcasm needs its own font
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
