that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
