That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
