my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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