o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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