i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
