Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
