Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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