dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize