If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Farmville is her only friend.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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