sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize