Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Never joke about your clitoris.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
