I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
