and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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