She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
