just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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