So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
