I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize