that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
