are you still at the devil's house?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...