Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
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Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.