Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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