Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.

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(716): View more from New York

do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(239): View more from Florida

Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

it is a toga and you are a goddess.

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(619): View more from California

Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.

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(817): View more from Texas

one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."

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(204): View more from Manitoba

So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...

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(302): View more from Delaware

leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3

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