I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit