How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
