I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
