Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
