Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
As shirtless as possible
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
