using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
