Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
