Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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