Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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