I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Semen is not good for contacts.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
