i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
