I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
