the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
