I'm really into asian looking animals
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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