Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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