I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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