I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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