It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
