he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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