Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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