the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
