he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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