hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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