she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think i have two assholes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize