pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this boner is exhausting
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
