I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
