Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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