Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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