i think my tv is drunk
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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