That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
