Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
