do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
